FangZ

Finally, she is going to grad fr NUS liao!!! =)
watZ... did not realizie that i had known her for almost 5 five years... fr a cute little lovely JC girl to a teacher to be young lady... hahaha....

Although our age gap is that BIG... but you still very kind to treat my like her big brother.
And i am glad that she did share alot of her problem wif me (although most of the time i cun do much to help her coz i told her all the stuff she dinot like to hear.... hahaha)

She is having her last round of exam in NUS now.... and she is the same old fangZ that used to call me to disturb me and it was a way to destress her nerve for exam.... every year for the pass four years. Remember the most funny incidental is that she called me and told me that she dreamt of alpha and beta and etc.... keep knocking on her door... and she try hard not to let them come in to her house!!!!!! hahahaha...
BUT she always get super duper good result after every each exam... i am very pround of her...

Thank God for letting us be friend and i did enjoy for the pass five years knowing her.... (although always Kana disturb by her... especially every call she start shouted from the other end of the receiver)

Jia you... five more days go....

my work place at home....

recently, very very busy...
started work at around 6 to 630am and ended work (tried to) b4 12 mid nite.
but still needed to work at home =..(
See(above) got two Laptops......!!!!!!!

i was so down for the pass few weeks.
Dun feel rite to all the happening to my work!
Luckily, i had a good boss (a Jap), who is my best mentor and friend.

Tonite, while dining for Madeline Farewell, we had a talk...
His encouragement did bring me back to the rite track and clear my doubts...
Really thank you to him...

p(^o^) q
Jia You........

Tonite mood : butterfly in my stomach (thinking and miss someone)

Maybe the last appearance

Finally, i got to Siying's an other good writing!!!
Hey Guys,... enjoy too...

Though I can’t see the seat three rows in front of me clearly, I knew it was empty. I know it wasn’t occupied, yet?

If this is even a doubt, how can I be so sure about other matters?

True, I was never sure. But so what even if I was never sure? Even life insurance insured nothing more than one's physical existence, let alone promises of life. But I know you, I told myself. I know I must have known you. This is no doubt.
I was restless, despite the paper already in front of me. I adjusted my posture so that I would be slightly facing the door, hoping that I can see you the moment you walked in.

Though I can’t see the seat three rows in front of me clearly, I know it was for you. I know you will be here. And really, when the clock ticked thirty minutes past two, you came in. Finally, I saw you. But I saw more than your presence. Despite being some distances away, I saw that you were lost, an expression that I don’t see often. I saw it on your face. Or perhaps it was an expression I often missed.

I wanted to shout out to you, to tell you that I am here and the seat in front is yours. I saw that you were really lost, because you stood there not moving, not knowing where to go. I was lost for the moment too, because I don’t know how to let you get out of this circumstance, I don’t know how to let you know I am here. Please see me, I am here, this thought echoed inside me. I am here, I am here. So I stared at you, hoping that you can sense me, that you can notice my presence. You started to walk across the room.

Give us a few moments and then I think you saw me, I think you heard me. You walked down the stairs, jus like how a groom would walk down the aisle, I thought.

I pointed to you the empty seat, but you seemed as lost. Why am I not enough for you? And when you stood in front of me, I saw more than what I saw. The expression of lost, the movement of restlessness and the last moments. You looked totally different from how you sounded over the phone jus a few hours ago. Or did I always imagine how you would look like when we were on the phone? I don’t have an answer. All I know is that I am still not enough for you.

The next few moments I saw you walked down and settled down. It was only when I saw you at your seat and ready did I start to read the paper in front of me. They seemed like alien to me, but I know I jus hadn’t gotten into the mood. Each time when I felt lost, I looked up and searched for you. And this went on throughout the two hours. Actually it was my habit since you came into my life. You see, it wasn’t you who needed me. It was me, always. I was totally reliant on you, a characteristic trait I dislike. But habits are hard to quit. So unless I quit this habit, this will never end. That is how I see it.

While we agreed that we needed an apologize- sounding reply even if we never gotten that job, you see, you don’t do that.

And you know, I noticed that jacket. That beige jacket with brown strips, how could I not remember it? It was so huge on me some night in HSS. But it was so comforting too. And you know, today you looked like a student to me. Not my brother, not my friend, but a student.

Minutes before it all ended, I paid attention to those last words. Maybe this is the last time we ever would appear together already.


The author's note
Doesn’t sound like it’s from me? Though it was what I wanted to say, it took me a while to put them down in words. But I thought it wasn’t that beautifully written...still, it’s a piece of memory.

My feeling....

Every individual has their own precise feeling toward someone they fond for....
Every individual has their own precise expectation for the reply....

Love is always patient and kind. That what i learn from my pass years....
It was so beautiful.... when two parties having the same kind of feeling toward each other....
But is so dishearten when only one side doing the appreciation...
But is ok... Human is born to appreciate nice thing and person... and if the time is rite they will fall for each other... =)

I read it about four back... and i Love it...
share with ur guy...

"They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still"

Ming FangZ's 1st Poem.... (Note: she having her last year paper two day later!!!!!

12 days to grad,
Shd we glad or shd we dread?
Suddenly I feel nostalgic,
Frenz reassure me I'm not sick

Teaching brings some fear
I still feel I'm a little ger.
Though u may be in midst of unemployment crisis
Patience, finding your call will be bliss.

Too soft and nice, I believe (is it?)
Muz be more assertive.People think I'm naive
Everyone is so protective.

Piglet craving for cheescake
Sunshine ger wish to blade.
My bed looks comfy to laze
Naruto to watch till daze!

Back to reality
Tadi tadi tadi!!
Yes, I am rather relax and a bit stressed
Trying hard to do my best!

*Most of the time 2-1 pig seems blur
Sometimes the players are unclear.
But for one thing Scorpio is sure
Silently the moon and sun is always here




I am so impressed that FangZ can write Poem... and most outstanding is that.... two more days will be her 1st paper........
can understand how stressful she was !!!!!!
jia you ming fang...
and all those taking exam one also good luck and jia you...too... esp Cutey Piggy and siying and sabrina and milky etc....

The Old Man and His Shoe

One day, an old man boarded a bus. As he was going up the steps, one of hiss hoes slipped off. The door closed and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it. The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it out of the window.

A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could not help going up to the old man and asking, "I noticed what you did, sir. Why did you throw out your other shoe?"

The old man promptly replied, "So that whoever finds them will be able to use them."

The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life - do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or because you do not wish others to have it.

We lose things all the time. The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives. We should not always assume that losing something is bad, because if things do not shift, we'll never become better people or experience better things. That's not to say of course that we only lose "bad" things; it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the interchange between loss and gain is necessary.

Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go. The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his shoe. Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a better pair of shoes for the old man. Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead the old man to a great benefactor. Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more.

Whatever the reason, we can't avoid losing things. The old man understood this. One of his shoes had gone out of his reach. The remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection from the ground.

Hoarding possessions does nothing to make us or the world better. We all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their course in our lives or would be better off with others. We then have to muster the courage to give them away.

如果爱我,请离我远一点...

--我感觉不到你--
这是我第一次有的感觉.

空气里没有你的名字.
只剩下我游移的眼神.
慢慢地,
我让你离开我的焦距.
轻轻地,
我把你装进记忆的瓶.
--我真的会...--

站在你身边,
却呼吸着不一样的空气.
越是靠得这么近,
幸福越是离我们远一点.

你读不懂我的心,
现在不懂,
以后也不会懂.

原本已经开窍的心扉
却因为你的不经意而封得更紧.
我们的爱情好比昙花一现
被你亲手扼杀了..

如果爱我,
请离我远一点.

:: 石头和佛 ::

<一>
石头问：我究竟该找个我爱的人做我的妻子呢？还是该找个爱我的人做我的妻子 呢？

佛笑了笑：这个问题的答案其实就在你自己的心底。这些年来，能让你爱得死去活来，能让你感觉得到生活 充实，能让你挺起胸不断往前走，是你爱的人呢？还是 爱你的人呢？

石头也笑了：可是朋友们都劝我找个爱我的女孩做我的妻子？

佛说：真要是那样的话，你的一生就将从此注定碌碌无为！你是习惯在追逐爱情的过程中不断去完善自己的。 你不再去追逐一个自己爱的人，你自我完善的脚步也就 停滞下来了。

石头抢过了佛的话：那我要是追到了我爱的人呢？会不会就...

佛说：因为她是你最爱的人，让她活得幸福和快乐被你视作是一生中最大的幸福，所以，你还会为了她生活得 更加幸福和快乐而不断努力。幸福和快乐是没有极限，所以你的努力也将没有极限，绝不会停止 。

石头说：那我活的岂不是很辛苦？佛说：这么多年了，你觉得自己辛苦吗？ 石头摇了摇头，又笑了。


<二>
石头问：既然这样，那么是不是要善待一下爱我的人呢？

佛摇了摇头，说：你需要你爱的人善待你吗？

石头苦笑了一下：我想我不需要

说：说说你的原因

石头说：我对爱情的要求较为苛刻，那就是我不需要这里面夹杂着同情夹杂着怜悯，我要求她是发自内心的爱 我的，同情怜悯宽容和忍让虽然也是一种爱，尽管也会给人带来某种意义上的幸福，但它却是我深恶痛绝的，如果她对我的爱夹杂着这些，那么我宁愿她不要理睬我，又或者直接拒绝我的爱意，在我还来得及退出来的时候，因为感情是只能越陷越深的，绝望远比希望来的实在一些，因为绝望的痛是一刹那的，而希望的痛则是无限期的。

佛笑了：很好，你已经说出了答案！


<三>
石头问：为什么我以前爱着一个女孩时，她在我眼中是最美丽的？而现在我爱着一个女孩，我却常常会发现长得比她漂亮的女孩呢？

佛问：你敢肯定你是真的那么爱她，在这世界上你是爱她最深的人吗？

石头毫不犹豫地说：那当然！

佛说：恭喜。你对她的爱是成熟、理智、真诚而深切的。

石头有些惊讶：哦？

佛又继续说：她不是这世间最美的，甚至在你那么爱她的时候，你都清楚地知道这个事实。但你还是那么地爱着她，因为你爱的不只是她的青春靓丽，要知道韶华易逝，红颜易老，但你对她的爱恋已经超越了这些表面的东西，也就超越了岁月。你爱的是她整个的人，主要是她的独一无二的内心。

石头忍不住说：是的，我的确很爱她的清纯善良，疼惜她的孩子气。

佛笑了笑：时间的任何考验对你的爱恋来说算不得什么。


<四>
石头问：为什么后来在一起的时候，两个人反倒没有了以前的那些激情，更多的是一种相互依赖？

佛说：那是因为你的心里已经潜移默化中将爱情转变为了亲情…

石头摸了摸脑袋：亲情？

佛继续说：当爱情到了一定的程度的时候，是会在不知不觉中转变为亲情的，你会逐渐将她看作你生命中的一部分，这样你就会多了一些宽容和谅解，也只有亲情才是你从诞生伊始上天就安排好的，也是你别无选择的，所以你后来做的，只能是去适应你的亲情，无论你出生多么高贵，你都要不讲任何条件的接受他们，并且对他们负责对他们好。

石头想了想，点头说道：亲情的确是这样的。

佛笑了笑：爱是因为相互欣赏而开始的，因为心动而相恋，因为互相离不开而结婚，但更重要的一点是需要宽容、谅解、习惯和适应才会携手一生的。

石头沉默了：原来爱情也是一种宿命。


五
石头问：在这样的一个时代，这样的一个社会里，像我这样的一个人这样辛苦地去爱一个人。是否值得呢？

佛说：你自己认为呢？

石头想了想，无言以对。

佛也沉默了一阵，终于他又开了口：路既然是自己选择的，就不能怨天尤人，你只能无怨无悔。石头长吁了一口气，石头知道他懂了，他用坚定的目光看了佛一眼，没有再说话。