Maybe the last appearance
Finally, i got to Siying's an other good writing!!!
Hey Guys,... enjoy too...
Though I can’t see the seat three rows in front of me clearly, I knew it was empty. I know it wasn’t occupied, yet?
If this is even a doubt, how can I be so sure about other matters?
True, I was never sure. But so what even if I was never sure? Even life insurance insured nothing more than one's physical existence, let alone promises of life. But I know you, I told myself. I know I must have known you. This is no doubt.
I was restless, despite the paper already in front of me. I adjusted my posture so that I would be slightly facing the door, hoping that I can see you the moment you walked in.
Though I can’t see the seat three rows in front of me clearly, I know it was for you. I know you will be here. And really, when the clock ticked thirty minutes past two, you came in. Finally, I saw you. But I saw more than your presence. Despite being some distances away, I saw that you were lost, an expression that I don’t see often. I saw it on your face. Or perhaps it was an expression I often missed.
I wanted to shout out to you, to tell you that I am here and the seat in front is yours. I saw that you were really lost, because you stood there not moving, not knowing where to go. I was lost for the moment too, because I don’t know how to let you get out of this circumstance, I don’t know how to let you know I am here. Please see me, I am here, this thought echoed inside me. I am here, I am here. So I stared at you, hoping that you can sense me, that you can notice my presence. You started to walk across the room.
Give us a few moments and then I think you saw me, I think you heard me. You walked down the stairs, jus like how a groom would walk down the aisle, I thought.
I pointed to you the empty seat, but you seemed as lost. Why am I not enough for you? And when you stood in front of me, I saw more than what I saw. The expression of lost, the movement of restlessness and the last moments. You looked totally different from how you sounded over the phone jus a few hours ago. Or did I always imagine how you would look like when we were on the phone? I don’t have an answer. All I know is that I am still not enough for you.
The next few moments I saw you walked down and settled down. It was only when I saw you at your seat and ready did I start to read the paper in front of me. They seemed like alien to me, but I know I jus hadn’t gotten into the mood. Each time when I felt lost, I looked up and searched for you. And this went on throughout the two hours. Actually it was my habit since you came into my life. You see, it wasn’t you who needed me. It was me, always. I was totally reliant on you, a characteristic trait I dislike. But habits are hard to quit. So unless I quit this habit, this will never end. That is how I see it.
While we agreed that we needed an apologize- sounding reply even if we never gotten that job, you see, you don’t do that.
And you know, I noticed that jacket. That beige jacket with brown strips, how could I not remember it? It was so huge on me some night in HSS. But it was so comforting too. And you know, today you looked like a student to me. Not my brother, not my friend, but a student.
Minutes before it all ended, I paid attention to those last words. Maybe this is the last time we ever would appear together already.
The author's note
Doesn’t sound like it’s from me? Though it was what I wanted to say, it took me a while to put them down in words. But I thought it wasn’t that beautifully written...still, it’s a piece of memory.
Hey Guys,... enjoy too...
Though I can’t see the seat three rows in front of me clearly, I knew it was empty. I know it wasn’t occupied, yet?
If this is even a doubt, how can I be so sure about other matters?
True, I was never sure. But so what even if I was never sure? Even life insurance insured nothing more than one's physical existence, let alone promises of life. But I know you, I told myself. I know I must have known you. This is no doubt.
I was restless, despite the paper already in front of me. I adjusted my posture so that I would be slightly facing the door, hoping that I can see you the moment you walked in.
Though I can’t see the seat three rows in front of me clearly, I know it was for you. I know you will be here. And really, when the clock ticked thirty minutes past two, you came in. Finally, I saw you. But I saw more than your presence. Despite being some distances away, I saw that you were lost, an expression that I don’t see often. I saw it on your face. Or perhaps it was an expression I often missed.
I wanted to shout out to you, to tell you that I am here and the seat in front is yours. I saw that you were really lost, because you stood there not moving, not knowing where to go. I was lost for the moment too, because I don’t know how to let you get out of this circumstance, I don’t know how to let you know I am here. Please see me, I am here, this thought echoed inside me. I am here, I am here. So I stared at you, hoping that you can sense me, that you can notice my presence. You started to walk across the room.
Give us a few moments and then I think you saw me, I think you heard me. You walked down the stairs, jus like how a groom would walk down the aisle, I thought.
I pointed to you the empty seat, but you seemed as lost. Why am I not enough for you? And when you stood in front of me, I saw more than what I saw. The expression of lost, the movement of restlessness and the last moments. You looked totally different from how you sounded over the phone jus a few hours ago. Or did I always imagine how you would look like when we were on the phone? I don’t have an answer. All I know is that I am still not enough for you.
The next few moments I saw you walked down and settled down. It was only when I saw you at your seat and ready did I start to read the paper in front of me. They seemed like alien to me, but I know I jus hadn’t gotten into the mood. Each time when I felt lost, I looked up and searched for you. And this went on throughout the two hours. Actually it was my habit since you came into my life. You see, it wasn’t you who needed me. It was me, always. I was totally reliant on you, a characteristic trait I dislike. But habits are hard to quit. So unless I quit this habit, this will never end. That is how I see it.
While we agreed that we needed an apologize- sounding reply even if we never gotten that job, you see, you don’t do that.
And you know, I noticed that jacket. That beige jacket with brown strips, how could I not remember it? It was so huge on me some night in HSS. But it was so comforting too. And you know, today you looked like a student to me. Not my brother, not my friend, but a student.
Minutes before it all ended, I paid attention to those last words. Maybe this is the last time we ever would appear together already.
The author's note
Doesn’t sound like it’s from me? Though it was what I wanted to say, it took me a while to put them down in words. But I thought it wasn’t that beautifully written...still, it’s a piece of memory.
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Cool blog, interesting information... Keep it UP » »
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